#While I don't believe in gender I do think that it serves a purpose in society
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"Affirmation" & Malgendering
"Fine, I'll 'respect' your gender, but I'll make it absolutely miserable for you. What? You don't like the way I'm 'affirming' your gender? Guess you'll have to stop being a (trans) man then."
I want to put something out there about what I call "malgendering". I see trans men talk about the phenomenon and acknowledge it as a part of antitransmasculinity but not the concept of "malgendering" itself and what it's purpose is, and as trans men and transmasculine people are especially caught in the lose-lose situation between misgendering and malgendering I think it is an important concept to establish. The erasure of transmasculinity, particularly as a unique gender and gendered experience, also serves to keep the transmasculine trapped within this double-bind, positioned between the gender binary of cis patriarchal ideas of womanhood and manhood, where for us there is only misgendering (being abused with the Woman gender) or malgendering (being abused with the Man gender).
I define malgendering as the practice of "validating" someone's gender identity only when it can be used against them and to hurt them, and malgendering almost always involves the enforcement of only the most negative sexist stereotypes available onto the victim with none of the "positives". If misgendering is forcefully pushing you back into your 'proper place' such as by calling you a "girl" or a "her" and showing you that you're really a woman through sexual assault -malgendering is scaring and traumatizing you into it by using your own gender against you. Malgendering is the realization that you don't need to misgender someone to hurt them or to punish them for the way they identity and push them towards the gender they're 'supposed' to be - you can do all that through 'validation'. It's psychological warfare on the sense of self.
This violence and abuse under the guise of "respect" and "identity affirmation" creates plausible deniability of intent and places the blame on the victim for "identifying that way", so much so that even other trans people will defend it and believe it's not maligned (especially because "but being seen as and treated as your gender is what trans rights is all about!" and "errm but its transphobic to not treat u this way?/ur misgendering urself by wanting to not be treated this way :/" with the hidden message being "don't like it? stop being trans"), even when faced with evidence of the (very much intended) effects it has on stalling and outright eliminating transmasculinity (ie. repression, detransition, suicide).
Some examples I can pull off the top of my head:
A transphobe is talking about a pregnant trans man. The whole energy of the Facebook video is 'comedic', and while calling birth the most “feminine” thing someone can do and alluding to how the trans man is really a woman, they still use he/him and call him a “guy” (in air-quotes). Not out of any respect but because the idea of a man being pregnant, calling a pregnant person a "he", and the very existence of the trans man in question, is the whole joke. In doing so, the transphobe has turned the act of using the proper pronouns and gendering him into a source of humiliation and made the experience of being properly gendered a demeaning one. -
The Ukraine military situation where all males aged between 18 and 60 were banned from leaving the country and obliged to serve in the military. Trans women were denied passage out of the country "because they were men", and trans men were similarly denied passage out of the country "because they were men". With the discrepancy between invalidating the gender of trans women and "validating" the gender of trans men, you'd think the motivation behind this would be obvious - that trans people are expendable meat and it's better they die than cis people. It shouldn't of needed to be said that "I'm only affirming your gender because it allows me to put you in a position where you will likely suffer and die and put the blame for it on you" is not 'respect' or 'affirming' at all but somehow this was taken as evidence for the idea of that trans men are more 'respected' and seen as their genders than others (and are thus 'privileged'). -
A common one almost every trans guy deals with at some point is cis people threatening to beat trans men up (and often following through), because "If you're a man and not a woman (anymore) that means I can punch you," using the proximity to masculinity that transmasculine people claim as a justification for violence. Every other week there's a new story in online transmasculine spaces about someone having their ribs broken with "Since/if you want to be a man so bad-" preceding the attack. -
The above is in a similar vein to when accounts of violence done to transmasculine people by cisgender men are brushed off and they're told something along the lines of "welcome to being a man", "that's just what men do to each other", "that's just the way things are with men", etc. along with the insistence that their attack had nothing to do with antitransmasculinity, making it an immutable problem with (cis)men as a whole - creating a sense hopelessness and that this is all they have to look forward to. -
Transmasculine individuals being refused treatment, tests, or insurance for gynecological issues, especially cancer, despite the knowledge that they are transmasculine, because "men don't deal with these problems" and they don't want "men in women's spaces", and if you don't want to be 'treated like a man' and get the care you need (and not die), you're going to have to go ahead and detransition, change that M marker back to an F.
All of this functions to create contention, and eventually a rift, between the individual and their sense of gender identity. Creating an association between being gendered 'correctly' and 'respected' as your gender (and ultimately existing as a transmasculine person) with abuse, violence, helplessness, trauma, fear, isolation... and by making transmasculinity and transmanhood uninhabitable and driving a wedge between the individual and their sense of gender identity you can more easily drag them back to their 'proper' place. Plant seeds of doubt by making being transmasculine an exceedingly unhappy experience. Make them think that everything that's happened is their own fault for choosing to be transmasculine or trying to be a man. That maybe since they're so unhappy this isn't for them. That living as a transmasculine person is just too difficult and they're not cut out for it, that if they "gave up" and were to be women again things would be easier and they would be safer and happier.
This also all serves to maintain cis patriarchal ideas of gender and the gender binary and police the boundaries of manhood, in a way I can't articulate right now.
Through all this, despite being called "men" during malgendering, we are not actually perceived as such. We are always an "other". Acknowledging us as "men" is just another weapon, and why some transmascs flinch at the phrase "trans men are men". Our own genders are used to beat us.
Using a scrap from my .txt journals:
"[...] on the subject of having a core aspect of yourself taken from you and turned into a weapon to beat you with, with the result being that aspect of yourself now becoming a source of trauma and pain so you abandon it and lock it away like an awful secret, that’s exactly what happened with my gender. Being genderless and a(nti)binary is what I’m most comfortable as, a(nti)gender is my ~real gender~, but I have to admit a lot of this is because I have been traumatized out of any gender with binary associations and have consequently come to know gender itself, and the act of gendering, as violence. Gender is but a designation for what exploitation, abuse, and violence can be enacted upon you and the justification there of. When someone asks whether you are "masc" or "femme", behind their back as they face you is a hammer in one hand, and a knife in the other, and what they are actually asking is if they can pummel you or lacerate you. When it comes to the “direction” I’m transitioning in though, it is obviously “masculine” (as much as a negation of "femininity" is always taken as stepping towards "masculinity") and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong to call me “transmasculine”, though I have been scared to death of being acknowledged as such."
My first encounter with malgendering was when I was 13 and had just started to realize I was "ftm" and looking for community online. My first exposure to any affirmation of transmasculinity was someone I came to respect reblogging a post about how Kill All Men includes trans men. This would set the precedent of the next decade of my life of existing while transmasculine. A decade of only hearing the words "trans men" and "transmasc" used negatively and as the butt of jokes that served to reinforce patriarchal ideas of gender. The consistent and relentless denial of transmasculinity as a unique gender and gendered experience, the denial of transmasculine reality especially in regards to misogyny, and continuous abuse and threats of violence, all under the guise of affirming trans men's genders as men (and affirming the gender binary in the process). A decade of having antitransmasculine sentiment fed to me in every way possible.
For me, the experiences of antitransmasculinity and malgendering from non-transmascs has effectively "chased" me out of my transmasculinity and any acknowledgement of it. For years I have hidden my transmasculinity and presumed "AGAB" out of fear, even in queer and supposedly trans-friendly spaces. I have not been able to associate with any “masculine” language in reference to myself without feeling that I am in imminent danger, have made a grave mistake, and suffocating in anticipation of punishment. I have always been scared of posting any of my art that eludes to my transmasculinity. I have always been terrified of being referred to or perceived as “transmasc”, a “trans man”, of being called a "guy" or “dude” or “bro”, of using "he/him" anywhere. All of it. Deep down on some level I do desire it, but it’s been forbidden and only aggravates existing wounds.
And this, in turn, pushed me out of associating with other transmasculine folks out of fear and internalized antitransmasculinity towards other transmasculine people, isolating me from any community or connection with anyone similar to me, exacerbating my loneliness and alienation as a youth to the point where now as an adult my ‘normal’ human social needs – connection, community, relationships, empathy – are completely broken. I don’t feel loneliness anymore, or the desire to connect to anyone, despite in ways being even more alone now than I was then. In a way I believe antitransmasculinity shaped the path of my schizoidism. Isolating and divorcing me from my transmasculinity and the world at large is what I understand to be yet another point of this type of antitransmasculine rhetoric - because when you've destabilized and isolated someone from their whole sense of self and community, they are much easier to control.
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𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎'𝐬! 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃 reacts to...cheater! reader
Request made by Anon:
Hi! I just read your post about yan 1950 house husband, it's amazing. Can you write his reaction if reader cheated on him? If you don't feel comfortable with this ask, feel free to ignore this. Remember to take care of yourself and have a nice day.
Hello to you too, dear Anon,
First of all, I must apologize but your request suddenly disappeared from my inbox! Thankfully, I have the content of your request saved in my google docs so I pasted it above.
Putting that aside, although this topic is sensitive to some, I am fine with writing about that.
I appreciate your words. It's very nice of you to think about little ol' me. I wish you a nice day too (even if it's not a daytime)!
Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon!
PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 x [CHEATER!] reader (gender not specified/mentioned/implied), your lovers genger isn't specified/mentioned/implied either. Don't be swayed by the curses used to describe them; Tw. cheating/indifelity from the reader, cursing, description of a m*urder, delusion (delulu is the solulu), emotional manipulation, gaslightning; A/N: As a person, I do not support this kind of behavior. This is only a piece of fiction, serving for entertaining purposes only.
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
Denial. Denial. Denial. At first 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 doesn’t believe it. No, he refuses to do so. You’re the most faithful and perfect partner known to the human kind. Right then, he's desperately holding on to that image. But unfortunately, evidence says otherwise. A simple photo, sent to him by your lover, secretly taken by some photographer is clearly showing you and (that whore) your lover, in some hotel room, in an intimate position. It is clear that day that you have an affair.
“But what if my darling was forced to do this?”
That question sends him into a spiral of delusion, rage and sorrow. As a defence mechanism, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 made up a story where suddenly you were a victim in this whole situation. It was definitely your lover who has forced themselves on you. Probably blackmailed or worse, drugged you to have a taste of sweet love and burning passion you share while making love with him.
“My poor darling…” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 wailed, clenching his chest like someone was physically ripping away his still beating heart from it. Fat tears ran down his rosy cheeks, smudging his mascara and turning him into a crying mess. “I’ll avenge you, my darling. I won’t forgive what was done to you!”
He doesn’t even blink when he sends your lover into the pits of hell. There’s no hesitation when 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 plans this hideous crime, making sure every detail is taken care of. And so, it begins small, like creating false and disgusting rumors about your lover. Day by day, he patiently destroys your lover's life. Until the day when 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 poisons them through his signature pie and then proceeds to repeatedly stab your lover until no one is able to recognize them in the first place.
"YOU WENCH!" 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 roared at the person who happened to be your lover. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!" With every word he dove the sharp, kitchen knife deeper and harder into his victim's chest. "DIE!!" 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 yelled for the final time and knife one last time, straight in this whore heart. He was left alone in the empty and messy kitchen, covered in blood, panting and trying to catch his breath.
In the end, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 begins to gaslight you. Once again, with the patience of a saint, he began to manipulate you to believe that it was in fact your lover who was using you all this time. You were forced into this vile affair and you are a victim.
“My innocent darling, you mustn't think about it (them) anymore. I will make everything perfect once again.”
But isn’t it weird how he started wearing clothes that are scarily similar to those worn by your lover? Sniff…sniff…and those perfumes…
All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.
#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#male yandere x reader#fanfic#x reader#imagines#yandere#headcanons#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere simulator#yandere male#tw yandere#male yandere#reader insert#headcanon#yandere headcanons#male x reader#soft yandere#yandere househusband#x female reader#x male reader#x gn reader#x y/n#drabble#yandere scenarios#yandere drabble#s.<3.writes
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Finishing Touches on Malicious Compliance
Fanart for the Endeavor Agency Annual Christmas Party because I just felt like it.
It's kinda weird drawing them with the height differences in mind and showing how tall Touya is compared to the women in his family. We know Fuyumi is 5'3" and Touya clocks it in at 5'9". Rei doesn't have an official height listed, but we can see in the family shot she is a little shorter than Fuyumi. So I put her mother Grandma Himura's height about the same at 5' exactly.
Also, I don't know if there was an attempt to contain Touya's fluffy hair, but if there was, I think the ladies gave up pretty quick.
Part 2
...
With Touya wearing a woman's kimono, this seems like a good time to bring up gender identity. In the Ambush Sim AU, he does identify as male, but he is not opposed to wearing feminine clothing for comfort/practicality purposes, or in this case, pure spite. So I suppose that's a characteristic that skews more demi-masculine(?) orientation. Except I think if anybody tries to pin down exactly how Touya identifies, all they're gonna get is a shrug because he is long past the point of caring about labels. When it comes to gender identity and which public restroom to use, Touya is very much in Camp 'Just Wash Your Hands When You're Done And We'll Get Along Fine.' So while wearing a woman's kimono may have started out as malicious compliance against his father, it may also have served as some self-realization for him. Here, he's a teenager who missed out on three years of mental/physical/emotional development and figuring himself out. And he has a very encouraging and understanding grandmother.
In any case, I hope I'm using the demi-masculine term correctly. I know someone in real life who identifies as demi-feminine, and she said this was accurate, so I'm trusting her opinion.
...
You would not believe the amount of research I put into drawing their kimono accurately according to situation/season. Because kimono do have seasonal patterns/colors and are varied by formality, age, and sometimes marital status of the wearer.
So breaking down the kimono in the fanart to the best of my understanding:
All three of them are wearing homoungi, a semi-formal to formal kimono that is typically worn by guests to formal parties, such as a wedding, graduation ceremony, dinner party, etc. Since the Endeavor Agency Christmas party is a company event, I figured it would be considered semi-formal. Homoungi are generally characterized by having a pattern along the hem, sleeves, and over the left shoulder seam.
The kimono colors:
With winter colors, shades of red are popular, but otherwise, more neutral colors work just as well. Since Grandma Himura is an elderly widow, I thought dark green would be a good choice since it's not flashy and more what you'd expect a dignified older woman to wear. (That's a cultural thing, not my personal opinion!) The pattern on hers is bamboo stalks and leaves. Fuyumi's kimono is white with bare branches and camellia blossoms. Touya's is a wintry blue (actually, that's same color as the rindou flowers) and has a roughly drawn yukiwa motif. Yukiwa is a Japanese pattern made to resemble snowflakes or flowers.
Obi:
Again, neutral colors/patterns. Or at least ones that complement the kimono. Fuyumi's scarlet one matches the flowers. Touya's is black lacquer (urushi) with abstract silver embroidery. Grandma Himura's obi is white for snow with abstract flowers in silver embroidery.
Kanzashi:
Again, winter-themed hair pieces, so Touya's is a carnation arrangement hana-kanzanshi and Fuyumi has a camellia. Touya's also wearing a wisteria kanzashi, which I don't think are considered winter flowers, but I like the look of them, so they were included. If you look closely, they also have little bells. Grandma Himura's is mostly hidden because of how she's standing, but she's wearing a tama-kanzashi and a kushi.
Deepest apologies for any inaccuracies above. I am not a kimono expert and I did the best I could with what I had to work with.
...
I realized something rather sad while drawing this. In The Summer Camp Ambush Simulation, it's mentioned Grandma Himura died a few weeks after Touya's eighteenth birthday, so he can't be any older than sixteen or seventeen in this fanart. Since I don't think he made any public appearances so soon after returning home, he's more likely seventeen years old here.
Seventeen years old, it's Christmas, and he has a January birthday. So Grandma Himura dies in maybe two months after this, and I swear I did not intentionally set it up to be that tragic!
#my hero academia#dabi#touya todoroki#fuyumi todoroki#ambush simulation#alternate universe#grandma himura#endeavor#todoroki enji#todoroki family#todoroki siblings#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#fanart#read on ao3#archive of our own
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jealousy jealousy
a request: "hey! I wanted to make a request for a Tashi Duncan fanfic <3 a headcanon, about Tashi and reader being friends and playing tennis together, but reader is chubby and insecure a about her body, she feels a little jealous of Tashi and the other girls that play tennis and feels guilty about it. Tashi is secretly in love with her, at first reader can't really accept because she can't believe someone would be in love with her. Can you do female reader?"
this is going to be one of those rare occasions where i will be more specific about a reader's appearance and gender. something i also think is important is that i tend to imagine my reader as not white. so this does bleed into these head canons. if that's too serious for you, you're better off not following me.
pairing: tashi duncan x chubby! fem! reader
for vibes: "jealousy jealousy" by olivia rodrigo
context: stanford 2007
word count: 1.8k words
Love cannot exist without Envy.
When you love someone, to some extent you envy that person. There's something they have that you envy. That is what you grew up believing and that is the worldview of love that you were left with. On top of your mother telling you that girls like you do not receive the flowers, guitars, and romantic rescues that all the rom-com heroines you watched had.
Your favorite romantic comedies were My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Love Actually–the third being more of a guilty pleasure. The only movie that came close to representing a girl like you, with your body type, was My Big Fat Greek Wedding. That was the right kind of rom-com, the one where the woman didn't need to change herself. She just developed confidence and scored the guy of her dreams.
Unfortunately, real life was not as kind as the movies.
"You can't quit tennis!"
"What makes you say that?" You play with your food, poking the fettuccine alfredo with chicken recipe you cooked up for the both of you. You were craving something creamy this time of night. And Tashi was too.
"You just can't. You're amazing. Why would you quit? With talent like yours, it seems like such a waste to just quit." Tashi had already finished her plate.
"It was fun while it lasted. But I don't see myself doing it."
"Bullshit (Y/N)." You could never look at her when you lied.
Tashi recalls the first time she saw you play. It was the day after her own match. And you were pure fire. Your strokes were quick, most of your serves unreturnable. She felt bad for your opponent because you never gave her a chance. Instead, you decimated her. In short, you were a phenomenon. Someone like herself.
You two played the next day. Tashi won, but she never felt such a thrill, such a surge of adrenaline. You were the only opponent she's played so far to have her respect and friendship. You were great. And she wished the world could see what she saw.
Your passion for tennis rivaled Tashi's. It was your purpose in life. It was the perfect sport for you to destress yourself to, hitting balls and rallying yourself against the walls in the public park. You wanted to achieve that envious Grand Slam career title. You wanted to continue in tennis. You didn't want to quit.
"Is it those assholes again?"
You look up at Tashi. You both dealt with your share of racism. But you had an extra pile of shit thrown on top of you. People say all the time that chubby people can't play tennis. And it didn't help that among the players of your generation, you were the only one with a body size bigger than a 14. Being both non-white and chubby only made the vitriol worse and the interpersonal competition harsher.
"Come on. You can't listen to them." Tashi sets down the pasta bowl. You painted it for her that one time you guys decided to try pottery painting. She takes a sip of water from the mug you gifted her. And the cherry on top was that she was wearing one of your shirts. You left it at her house when you slept over.
"That's easy for you to say." You set your plate down.
A frown forms on her face. You don't like it when Tashi frowns. "(Y/N)..."
"It's all they talk about." Your eyes rake over her figure. Thin arms. A limber, slender body. Athletic with the right muscle balance so she didn't seem like too much of an athlete. She was model material, Tashi Duncan. And that's why all the offers came rolling in for her. All the brand deals, all the money. And you were instead left with scraps, still wrapping duct tape around the handle of your dad's Wilson racket. Relying on the graciousness of Tashi Duncan when you were in a tough spot. She bought you new shoes in time for the U.S. Open this year because your old ones had holes and were worn down. You hated relying on her. You hated that she always insisted you didn't need to pay her back. Your company was enough.
Your love was enough.
"What's the point in playing tennis if no one is going to talk about me playing tennis!" You raise your voice out of frustration. You were so angry that you could throw the plate at the wall and break it. "All everyone wants to talk about is how fat I am and that fat girls don't belong in tennis! It's not going anywhere! No one but you sees my potential. And my family and I have been losing money! It's too costly. Stanford didn't even take me for tennis." You were accepted for your brains. Not for your true passion. It wasn't worth investing in tennis when you were getting nothing in return. Nothing but racist, fatphobic vitriol that continued to wear you down every day.
"And that's why you should continue to play. You need to prove them wrong!" Tashi keeps her voice steady. "You prove them wrong, then they can't say shit."
You wanted to believe her. But you knew the truth. You weren't Tashi Duncan. You could never be Tashi Duncan. Only girls like Tashi Duncan and Irina Petrovska got the brand deals, got the fame, got the money.
Only girls like them got to continue their passion and turn it into a career.
"Proving them wrong won't do them anything. At this point I'm just...a circus pig." Your voice drops, but Tashi can hear what you said.
"You're not a circus pig."
"That's easy for you to say! You're...You're fucking perfect! You're the face of tennis! You're who people think of when someone brings up the term tennis player. Not me! You. I'm not meant to be on the court."
"Don't say that. Don't. Say. That." Desperation bleeds into Tashi's voice as she looks at you. "Do you remember what we agreed on during that after party? After our match?"
Your lack of a response tells her that you do. "We're going up there. Together. Next year. Doubles. Me and you. We're going to take over the world." Her fingers tap against the table. "You can't quit! You promised you would play with me! You promised you would. And we always keep our promises."
"Well maybe I'm fed up. Maybe I'm just done with it all." You sip your water. "Proving them wrong only seems to enhance the insults I get! It only makes things worse for me! And it only hurts you!"
"Why would it hurt me?" Tashi is in disbelief.
"Because I'm someone you shouldn't associate with. I shouldn't be playing with you! I don't deserve to! I'm a terrible friend!" Your voice cracks. "I am so jealous of you Tashi. All the time. There's always this sick twisting in my stomach. And you deserve everything that you've gotten but I can't help but feel that some of it should go to me! But it doesn't because I'm the fat one! And no one wants to see a fat girl in an Adidas ad. And it's not fair to you because you didn't do anything! And I don't deserve to be friends with you or even play against your because I'm a terrible person!"
She doesn't respond. She's too busy looking at you, watching the way your face contorts with emotion, the way your tears fall from your eyes. It was like you were unloading everything.
Tashi hated seeing you cry.
"You can't quit tennis."
You look at her with shock. Is that all she could say after everything you dumped on her?
You expected her to fume, to lash out. Or maybe to tell you to go kill yourself. She's done her fair share of that to people. And yet, all she can tell you is that you can't quit tennis.
"You still somehow managed to make this about tennis."
Tashi leans forward, her hand taking yours. She enjoys the feeling of your soft skin. You always took great care of your skin, moisturizing constantly. If she needed some cream to moisturize her dried out hands, she could always ask you. You had so much in your purse. She could smell that lavender cream you used. Some said it was the scent only old people picked. But she found herself craving that lavender smell late at night in her bed.
"I understand...everything...you're saying. Remember that time we were talking? About how we both envy white girls and their opportunities and their easy life and their ability to get away with everything on the court." She remembers the thinly veiled racist remarks fired at the both of you when you were playing against white opponents. The rage she felt but couldn't exercise because letting her emotions run free would only make her the angry Black woman and they would instead penalize her.
"Tashi-"
"I don't hold it against you. That's...the way the game is right now." The both of you were playing a white man's sport. Unfortunately, this was the reality.
"It's...stupid. And ridiculous. You shouldn't even be friends with me!"
"(Y/N), I love you."
Your breath hitches in your throat. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Tashi Duncan...loves you? Even after everything you confessed? You wanted to say so many things, wanted to tell her that she was wrong to love you. She couldn't love you and shouldn't love you.
"Why?" is all you managed to muster out.
Her eyes soften. "I..." There were so many reasons why. Your laugh. Your determination. The way you ran your fingers through her hair when she laid her head on your lap. How soft you were. Your hugs. Your lips. Those unreturnable serves of yours. The way your skirts would hike up those thick thighs of yours. That serving tick of yours where you would tap the ball against the edge of your racket three times.
Her heart sinks when you pull your hand out of hers and stand up from your seat. You needed to take a walk. You needed to think for a minute.
"(Y/N)..." Tashi stands up to follow after you. She grabs your wrist and you turn around to look at her.
"Tashi...I don't...I don't deserve you-"
She leans forward, pressing her lips against yours harshly. You're shocked by the sudden feeling, taking a step backwards into the wall. Tashi cups your face with both of her hands, keeping you there. She pulls away, watching your face to see if you would react in any way. "(Y/N)..."
You close the gap between you two once more and place your hands on her waist, slowly guiding her to the bed as she gets lost in the smell of lavender.
#challengers#challengers fic#challengers 2024#zendaya#tashi duncan#female reader#chubby reader#x reader#tashi duncan x reader
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Hello!! I absolutely adore your posts and how well you've researched and thought everything out. I am curious what you think about Mor being Azriel's mate. I go back and forth on the question - it's a lot to tackle with Mor's sexuality and how mates are chosen etc. I feel like there's some language that could indicate they're mates, but I know it's not a popular theory in the Elriel bubble and ACOTAR fandom as a whole. It would also solve the question of "what would Azriel do if him and Elain aren't mates, but he found his mate later on?" Just curious if you have any thoughts on the matter. :)
Hello my love! First of all, I want to genuinely thank you for your kind words. I have quite a few days in this fandom where I wonder if I fit in here, but my deep enjoyment for writing theory posts and fanfics keeps me going! You caught me on a day I was sort of in my feels about it, so it was really lovely to see a kind word attached to the ask!
I am 100% a Morrigan and Azriel are Cauldron breeding mates just like L/ucien and Elain truther, and I have soooo much to get into about it and am bringing my usual receipts. I'm pretty convinced that even if she ultimately opts not to go that direction, she for sure was thinking heavily about it.
This post is EXCEPTIONALLY long (as usual) because I think Morrigan is a character that receives unjust hate in every microcosm of the fandom and some things need to be noted, and I hope you all will give it a chance even if you dislike Mor or hate this theory!
It is important to remember that every character is in fact *not* a real person, but the author. And sometimes character flaws are not intentionally curated for arcs and development, but they are author flaws. I believe this is partly the case with Morrigan. I don't spend a lot of time critiquing SJM. This is not because she is above reproach, it's simply because there are plenty of people out there doing it and there are valid spaces for that. That being said, I cannot address the Morrigan situation without addressing the very real issue of SJM and her blind spots when it comes to representation. This is something that SJM and Bloomsbury have addressed and made necessary steps to improve:
Time article published January 30th 2024, found here.
SJM has fallen into a lot of bad tropes and stereotypes when it comes to her BIPOC and LGBTQ representation, to the point where she has hired sensitivity readers to ensure she does not continue to so do. This is a great thing, and personally I think sensitivity readers should be the bare minimum and the absolute norm and not solely employed in response to criticism. Alas, it is a new addition and her past mistakes live on.
Sexuality is a spectrum, and while some people might identify with the way SJM has represented it, she had a pattern that she did not break until recently: Tokenizing sexual representation as bi characters interested in having sex with all genders and orientations without experiencing emotional attraction outside of their preferred gender.
*TOG spoiler* The Aedion bi reveal in the second to last book served literally no purpose other than- look! More representation! He had no romantic or emotionally intimate experiences with men throughout the series, but very suddenly and randomly reveals he has sex with men. It is mentioned once, then never again, because he is pursuing a heterosexual relationship. That is a valid experience with sexuality but in the context of ToG it was a brow-raising and unearned attempt to throw in an extra queer character because she was being criticized. That's a hey you tried but maybe do better next time.
But then it happened again with Helion- freely having sex and experiencing physical attraction with both men and women but only suggestions of having fallen in love with a woman, and will likely only persue a hetero relationship.
Then it happened again with Morrigan (with a slightly flipped script), who only experiences love and romance with women but freely has sex with men. Now we see a *pattern* and at this point its like, mmkay, skill issue. Even if it does feel authentic and representative to *some* readers, it is also a reflection of the authors limitations exploring emotional intimacy with her bi characters and just treating them as wanting/willing to have sex with anyone while only like liking just boys or just girls.
I bring all of this up because I am going to bring in my usual methods of comparisons, themes, development, ect- but I am typically talking about things SJM did exceptionally well. When it comes to Morrigan, I don't necessarily think she has done things all that well. But the threads are still there, and my love for Morrigan and experience with her themes live beyond an irritating skill issue on the authors part. Lets get into it.
I've made quite a few posts about the usage of the mating bond as a plot device and the development of theme. The best one to catch up on if you'd like is probably this one here.
The biggest indicators to me that Morrigan is Azriel's corrupted Cauldron (aka breeding) mate are twofold: parallel behavior between Mor and Lucien as well as the development of Morrigan's theme of her value being tied to her breeding in ACOWAR alongside the introduction of the mating bond being nothing less than a tool for powerful breeding, also for the first time in ACOWAR.
With the confirmation that the Asteri corrupted the Cauldron, along with the conversation regarding the Asteri forcing mated pairs outside of sexual orientations and not caring (*HOSAB), SJM doubled down on all of this. The Asteri need powerful offspring. They will force queer women to mate with men to do it.
Spoiler alert: Celestina does *not* prefer males. And the Asteri do not care.
CC also, in my opinion, cemented the two-bond theory. The Mother Bond (also known as Urd or Wyrd) the true soul-mated pairs, and Breeding Bond- created at the behest of the Asteri.
With breeding bonds, you can experience a sense of ownership and possessiveness over someone you are not even remotely romantically interested in:
Both Mor and L/ucien go stiff during representations of their *alleged mates interacting romantically with someone else even when there is no attraction or emotional intimacy. For L/ucien, he doesn't even know Elain. He doesn't automatically assume they will even be together, because he wants to know more about her personality and decide if they are a good fit. Honestly? Super healthy and valid.
Morrigan is having her moment during ACOFAS. She is very much out as queer (again, with some confusion of whether or not she is bi due to a skill issue on the author's end, but 100% confirmed to not be romantically interested in men) so why is she going tense at the sight of Azriel acting like a BDE husband to Elain? The unjustified and unsympathetic take (imo) is that she is being weird and jealous and wants Azriel's attention even though she doesn't want him. This makes no sense. She has actually only ever acted positively towards Elain, and before this dinner mused on Azriel giving Elain truth-teller without a shred of jealousy. But then to see them together, even though she does not want Azriel and only wishes for his happiness, she tenses, then recovers quickly. To me, both of these moments indicate a jerk reaction to the breeding bond at work.
There is also this idea of feel a pull to explore their *alleged mate just once:
L/ucien actually has already seen Elain, and although he had some immediate instinctive reactions, it didn't leave him immediately feeling like this was the woman he was supposed to be with. Alternatively, Morrigan deeply loves Azriel, just not in that way. She loves him so much that sometimes she wonders if she should try, just once, just to know for sure, even though she is not capable of falling in love with men. Both of these scenes are from ACOWAR, and tie into the way mating bonds are finally described, and how most mates feel like they should try:
Even though neither Mor or L/ucien experience romantic feelings for their mates, they feel a pull to try. They think about giving things a chance just to be sure. This is not something any of our other mates have experienced.
This passage also leads me to another important note- which is the severity of mating bond rejections. Again, all of this is in ACOWAR and thematically connects. Both Elain and Mor have very good reason to be afraid of a mating bond rejection. It can drive a male mad and make them go violently insane. We can criticize both women all day long about how they should just reject their mates and have the conversation so everyone can move on, but when this is what is on the table for them? A man possibly killing because of the power of the mating bond? That is no joke.
The only reason Morrigan slept with Helion is because she was sick and terrified over Azriel handing Eris his ass because he called her a slut. Mor has already seen Azriel act in an uncontrolled and violent manner that could not easily be stopped on her behalf. If she is afraid of what a mating bond rejection will do to Azriel, the depth and complexity of her decision, and her behavior to try to distance and avoid the conversation is a lot more sympathetic. I also believe that Morrigan, Azriel, and Elain will be doing some work together in Vallahan, and the issue of the Cauldron being wrong for both Azriel and Elain will resolve during that storyline. You can read more about that here.
And then of course, there is this:
Rhys only brings up Mor when Azriel brings up the Cauldron. That feels extremely intentional to me. I think Rhys either knows or assumes that Azriel and Mor have a mating bond. I think both Az and Mor know (I also think Azriel absolutely knows Mor is queer, and their weirdness and his constant confusion and staring at her has more to do with that than being in love with her, because he doesn't understand why she is sleeping with men at all.) Crack theory, but I think Eris knows. What happened between Mor and Eris isn't a secret, it was all revealed in ACOFAS. But I think somehow, for some reason, Eris is also aware of the mating bond between Az and Mor, which is why Morrigan gets so pissed when Eris needles her about not telling the whole truth. She isn't trying to hide what Eris did to make herself look better (he didn't do much, really, still left her to die even though he did her a solid by not accepting her as his wife) but he also knew that a Blood Duel could be called by Az over her.
Here's the thing: ACOWAR states that some courts allow men to kill each other over their mate choosing or having other partners. The bonus chapter clarifies that violence as the Blood Duel. I do not believe the Blood Duel can be called over anyone over any situation- it is specific to mates. I could be wrong, but it seems strange that Rhys would talk about outlawed violent practices that is not allowed in his court but is in others, and then we would see the Blood Duel brought up as the Autumn Court tradition, and not see them as one in the same:
Ultimately, all of these characters are grappling with their choices being affected by deeply held cultural beliefs about the mating bond.
If Azriel and Mor are breeding mates, she is struggling with genuine love for him but being unable to love him romantically. She thematically is dealing with hiding her sexuality because there is no greater dishonor to the culture of her family than a woman not being used for sale and breeding. If Azriel and Mor are mates, so much of her behavior and her themes and experiences make so much more sense. Rhysand's response to Azriel thinking the Cauldron was wrong when he has a mate in the Inner Circle whom he already loves makes more sense. Azriel knowing Mor is queer and not understanding why she sleeps with men but also not pushing her to have a conversation about their bond makes more sense.
Everything makes more sense if Az and Mor are mates.
If they are not, well, skill issue, I guess.
Either way, I truly hope Mor gets her HEA and SJM's employed sensitivity writers will help her do it justice.
How did we do? Did anyone stick with me on this one? Have I won you over? I can't wait to see what happens, however it pans out! And I'm grateful for the addition of sensitivity readers to Sarah's work. I hope she does her best to represent as well as she can!
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I Feel You Linger in the Air - final thoughts
I know, I know! I'm late to this one. But I knew I had to wait for it to finish to make sure I wouldn't get my heart entirely ripped out, and then it was just really hard to find the time. I couldn't binge it either, I had to pace myself emotionally.
But damn. What an incredible fucking show. And I don't just mean for a BL, but just for a series in general. Everything was so well done. The music, the cinematography, the writing, the acting, all of it.
While I was watching I kept being reminded of a good Austen adaptation. Probably mostly because of all the longing looks. Khun Yai could absolutely give Mr. Darcy a run for his money.
But there's also something about a historical framework, where there is so much that cannot be outright stated. Where there's "propriety", and the (usually BS) moral standards of the time. Where the line between classes and genders is such a sharp one.
The social commentary was so strong - showing the heavy burden of living within traditional beliefs, and the damage that they caused to those that are oppressed. I loved Fong Kaew, and her brilliant strategical thinking in how to play Robert and court allies for his downfall. Euangphueng and Fong Kaew both hurting each other in their attempts to survive, but always understanding who the real enemy was, and keeping compassion for one another. Even Yai's mother, finally having enough of passively following her husband as he hurts their children over and over again, telling him to essentially fuck off as she downs the good booze. Characters like James & Niew risking themselves and joining their queer allies to help take down the oppressive hypocrites abusing their power. So damn good.
And I really love how much the series showed that change is not a big massive shift in one moment, but rather a drop in the pond, that causes ripples to ebb and flow over the water. And that for each person who took one moment to help someone else, or speak up to power, or defy an unjust expectation, new ripples would form, and reach new places. Sometimes meeting up to create an entire wave.
Of course, IFYLITA is at its core a romance, and wow, what a romance. I was in literal physical pain during the finale, and I'm still not fully recovered, even with the happy ending. Bright & Nonkul gave incredible performances and I believed every single moment between them. I'm not always a fan of "you're the only one I'll ever love" stories, because life is so much more complex than that, but it was impossible not to get swept up in the emotions here. And the writing all served the story, every moment between them had such purpose.
I only have a couple of little...wishes, let's call them, because I can't even say they're complaints. I wish we had seen a little more interaction between Yai & Euangphueng, as two siblings navigating their queerness and inability to love openly. Yai didn't even seem to be aware that Euangphueng was being confined by Robert, which seemed odd.
My other wish is that we got a bit more time with modern Yai & Jom. They spent so much time making us twist in the angst of the separation, and then we got about thirty seconds of healing. I could have used just a few moments more of basking in the reunion.
I don't know how likely a season 2 is at this point, but damn do I want to see Jom pursue Commander Yai.
But whether we get it or not, I am so grateful to have experienced this show.
#i feel you linger in the air#i am still a bit broken#but what an amazing watch#also more kimmy please
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got any miscellaneous otohan headcanons?
Ya see my problem is that while I think about Otohan a lot, it's always in relation to stories I'm writing rather than miscellaneous tidbits like 'she's a side sleeper' (she's not; she sprawls on her back, legs splayed unnecessarily wide), or, idk, 'spicy food gives her acid reflux' or something equally random. So, in no particular order:
You in particular already know my 'Otohan is on the shorter end of average' headcanon (like 5'4" maybe? Basically an inch or two shorter than however tall Imogen is). But I also took Matt's "dancer's body" description and immediately chucked it out the window. He also says "hard to tell where on the spectrum of gender they lie" which leads to me believe they aren't particularly curvy anyway. Basically I like to think they have disproportionately broad shoulders compared to an otherwise straight and flat as a board frame. This woman has a flat ass because I say so.
She's not really an animal person. Not because she particularly dislikes them, but because they don't like her. Sort of how some dogs can sniff out a serial killer—they know she will never give scritches or treats (and she also happens to be a murderer) because to her, an animal is only as good as the purpose it serves, not the company they provide as pets. With that said, she's probably overall pretty neutral about less liked animals, like bugs and snakes and such. Like she won't go out of her way to kill a spider in her tent because it's incidentally doing her a service.
However, she absolutely dislikes children. Not loudly in the 'wow people who have children are so stupid' way but just 'can't quite control her facial expression if a baby cries too loudly in her vicinity' kinda way.
They view just about everything through a lens of efficiency and practicality. One example of this in action is that they're one of those types that defaults to viewing food as fuel. They eat to keep themself in shape and they really couldn't care less what gets the job done as long as it doesn't taste objectively bad. I'll say they do have a bit of a sweet tooth, tho, just for funsies; maybe they especially like dark chocolate or something.
Subscribes to the "respect is earned" belief, because when she was younger her unwavering loyalty and devotion to the Duskmaven didn't get her anywhere (I could also see that loyalty potentially carrying into her time as a solder for the Stratos Throne). But nowadays, she views everyone as equal or beneath her until proven otherwise. At which point she'll objectively respect one's skill (ex: how I envision her canon relation with Liliana going; a colleague that she has to admit does great work regardless of their differing opinions), or is given a reason to truly respect someone (ex: however Ludinus brought her into the Vanguard). At that point, I'd say she is then prone to slipping back into that loyal to a fault tendency, because she believes in the person/cause she's following so completely.
They do not need to be the smartest and most put-together person in the room, but they will make it known when they happen to think they are, usually with snark. (looking at her subtle needling of Zathuda back at the Fey Key in particular).
They're competitive but not a sore loser; more the type to grit their teeth and bear it as they concede defeat. I like to think of her sparring with Reilora juggernauts at the Tishtan site when she can't sleep.
Oh that's another thing: when they can't sleep, much like Orym, they exercise or fastidiously clean their weapons and armor.
They're not particularly possessive or prone to jealousy or envy.
She's kinda touch starved but in a really resentful way. She's overly-perceptive of both herself and her surroundings—constantly watching for trouble, has a high pain tolerance, is only ever touched when she's fighting (I just can't see her as the type to shake hands or clap someone on the shoulder)—so! Someone touches her gently and suddenly 'wtf was that, disgusting, why do I have goosebumps, what is this weakness.. do that again.'
And on that note, definitely a 'touch me not' type in the bedroom, though that's not a hard rule so much as a strict need for control and the desire to remain calm and collected at all times rearing its head.
Would ya look at that.. I say "I don't really have misc headcanons" and then I type all that extrapolated bullshit.
#asks#thanks friend! it was fun to think about these#if anyone happens to have specific questions feel free to toss em my way#otohan thull#critical role#cr3#malloy sometimes speaks
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Hey don't start falling into exclus bullshit.
i'm not "falling into" anything, i've held the belief for years now that while asexuality and aromanticism are real and valid identities, they're not inherently queer (they're not inherently straight either). there's overlap between the ace and queer communities, but it's a venn diagram, not a circle. a cishet ace or aro is still cishet. if you can be gay and ace, you can be straight and ace. this doesn't mean that i hate aces/aros or that i think they shouldn't be allowed in lgbt spaces. yes, i'm aware that 2% of aces face medical discrimination bc of their asexuality, yes, i'm aware that many aces/aros are bullied. both those things suck and i'm sorry they go through them but it's not systemic oppression. while the ace and aro fight is for visibility and awareness (which is important!), the lgbt fight is for legal protection and acceptance, among other things.
i'm a firm believer in prioritizing community over individuality, which is why i think microlabels are unnecessary and redundant. the lgbt community came together over things we have in common with each other-- being discriminated against and oppressed for what gender we love and our gender presentation. it was for survival. the lgbt community is first and foremost a civil rights coalition. not having sex until you know someone or only getting crushes on people after you've formed a connection with them has nothing to do with what gender you love or your gender presentation, and has zero effect on day-to-day life. nobody's getting kicked out of their home or fired for not having casual sex. there are no bills being proposed to ban demiromantics from public bathrooms. what purpose do microlabels serve other than creating another demographic to sell pride merch to? other than promoting the western (and especially american) belief that individualism is more important than community? other than perpetuating the societal importance placed on sex and romance? how is it better or easier or healthier to scrutinize the ins and outs of every aspect of your attraction to find the perfect matching label instead of just recognizing that you need to warm up to someone first, and that's just as normal and common as not needing to know someone at all?
sorry for the long response, but i wanted to make sure i covered everything so you know exactly where i stand👍🏻
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I hope you're doing okay apart from..the events. Sorry this shit is still happening to you, seems like some people are just immature and unwilling to learn and want to make that everyone else's problem.. -_-
Just wanted to throw my hat in and say I also 100% support you because you're literally just. correct..about everything in your pinned. Also,, I can relate to having a paraphilia and intrusive thoughts, and also I create porn with that subject matter too, though mine is written. I'm ace+arospec actually, so the part where you said "But even porn can serve a purpose other than arousal" really really resonated with me. I don't write porn with these taboo kinks because it arouses me, I do it because I care about the characters and their relationships and backstories, and porn just happens to be a relatively quick, simple, and attention-grabbing way to put the characters in a vulnerable and emotionally visceral setting. Some (okay...a lot,) of my longest running OCs came from writing emotionally charged hardcore kinks lol. One of my favorite pairs, who are now the most tooth rottingly sweet and loving couple ever, started out as an idea to write a [2-3 very taboo kinks] scene, but I couldn't resist changing it to be less extreme cuz while I was writing and exploring their history and how they felt about each other, I realized I really loved their dynamic. And now,, I,,,might have..made myself cry with them a couple times.bc they're so.in love,, 🥺
I don't think they realize they're inadvertently invalidating every ace and aro that enjoys fictional kink. If fantasy is an indicator of a real desire then you have to assume every ace and aro that enjoys fiction of things they have no desire for is just lying. Things in fiction just exist in a different plane than reality. It's why a lot of people are attracted to characters of genders theyre not actually attracted to. Because how they exist in fiction just isn't a real representation. They've tricked themselves into believing that 2D sapient cats with religion are "exactly like real cats" etc etc
Anyways thank you for the support
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Good faith question:
I looked into the bi/pan argument and I see how they’re the same and the problems with “everything’s fluid, there are no lines.”
That being said, I’m wondering why you don’t like neopronouns? Since pronouns are about what ppl are comfortable being called I thought they were fine. Ex: many binary ppl use “they.”
I never heard anyone use neopronouns except for when I went to a place with a lot of very depressed queer teenagers, and many of them used neopronouns. I’m pretty sure they weren’t doing it for the heck of it since they were all really struggling, so I’m wondering:
1. What do you find problematic about neopronouns
and
2. Do you think they’re okay if they aren’t used just for the heck of it?
My issue with neopronouns is that pronouns are not just words you are comfortable with, they're specifically to describe your gender. I'm he/him because I am a trans man, not because I like he/him pronouns or for any other reason aside from it's the proper way to describe me as a man.
I think neopronouns generally contribute to making trans people look like a massive joke in the same way that xenogenders and all other MOGAI nonsense does. They are not necessary, they serve absolutely no practical purpose.
The only time I don't really care about neopronouns being used is like, in your own online circles. But they're not something I think will ever be sensible to use in real life, or outside of your own social circles. To be perfectly frank, if you are in such a precarious mental place that somebody refusing to call you "it" or"ey" or whatever other "pronoun" you've chosen is going to cause you severe distress or cause you to harm yourself in some way, you NEED therapy URGENTLY. Neos are just another extension of MOGAI hyperindividuality. Other MOGAI labels make people feel comfortable but I'm still against those too, for similar reasons to what I've listed here.
I will add I know there are some neopronouns that have existed for a while, such as ze/hir (I think), but I don't really subscribe to those either. This is a classic case of you can call yourself whatever you want, but that doesn't mean other people have to go along with it if it's absolutely ridiculous. And if your mental health is resting on your nonsense MOGAI identity, then you are in desperate need of help. I fully believe trans & other dysphoric people deserve to have pronouns and names and genders respected, but neos and xeno genders aren't trans. It's mostly kids who feel the need to be special and differentiate themselves.
To be clear, I don't condone bullying random kids for using neos or xenogenders or whatever because I do absolutely understand that a lot of those kids are struggling in some way, but that doesn't mean that I have to support a bunch of nonsense that's not doing anything good for the LGBT community.
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CW: Misogyny
(This is not an essay. This is a manic-induced rant about the fandom.)
HotD time soon, which means the dudebros will be out and about shaking their firsts cursing Sara Hess (who apparently is to blame for everything bad and must be removed from the show at all costs cuz she rightfully did not understand why people defend Daemon's actions) for hating men or whatever manufactured outrage they'll cook up next...
So, let's talk about what the show is not about first. It is not a misandrist piece of media that says men evil women good. That's so blatantly false it's genuinely baffling to me how anyone can reach that conclusion. It is also not about how the Blacks are better than the Greens or that the writers have a bias (what writer doesn't have a bias? I know I do). Remember, the Blacks and Greens are not real. This is fiction.
Yes, we get emotionally attached to characters (as I have) but there is no slander or character assassination going on. Hell, these characters literally have zero characterization (and sometimes contradictory characterization) in Fire & Blood. The writers haven't gone on twitter to cancel Aegon because he said something controversial. Because they are characters and they serve a purpose in the story, whether good people or not.
Now, let's talk about the way the fandom doesn't get certain themes. There is this recurring motif that the men want war and the women want peace. Think about it for maybe two seconds. In this very patriarchal gendered world, men are expected to be tough, hold in their emotions, be warriors and fighters. While war is considered maybe not ideal, knights are revered and men still have a particular expectation in this society.
Naturally, the toxic masculinity of Westeros is going to make quite an impression on some of the male characters in the show; Aegon, Aemond, Criston, Daemon. Mix that with their numerous neuroses and you don't get the most peaceful, calm, and rational people in the world.
Even disregarding that, there is a more thematic reason why the show went this direction. It explores the way patriarchy is an inherently violent, self-destructive system. Rhaenyra and Alicent, despite being in positions of power, are restricted by what the men around them allow them to do. This in turn adds to the tragedy of them trying to desperately avoid war even though it is unavoidable. It's sad, it's frustrating, and it's showing the flaws of the system.
This leads into a discussion for Alicent and Rhaenyra. The fandom is completely normal and not insane about these two. There is a lot of criticism about the characters being too "perfect", and that they lack agency and thus are less compelling than their book counterparts. There is so much to unpack here so lets take them one at a time.
No, Alicent and Rhaenyra are not perfect. Both make a ton of mistakes, do awful things, all the while they try to be decent and honourable. Rhaenyra has lied and killed for her own gain. She spared Laenor, but still killed an innocent servant and caused a massive deal of grief for the Velaryons by making them believe their son was dead. Not saying she is the worst person ever, but that was a pretty big political mistake even if she needed Daemon to be her sword to wield.
Alicent too is imperfect. I have so much sympathy for her and Rhaenyra, which is good since they are the two people at the core of the story, and being sympathetic is a very good trait to have in a protagonist! For me the biggest highlight of all is the way she treats her children. She is abusive. They do not feel that unconditional love from her. Aegon especially had a raw deal, with the way she not only verbally and emotionally abuse him and put immense pressure on him to becoming king, but also the way she physically abuses him. He's probably got PTSD from a lifetime of parental abuse (a lot of what Alicent and Viserys do to their children is something I have personally experienced with my own parents). This isn't even mentioning Helaena or Aemond. All of her and Viserys's children are like this. It's a huge, huge flaw of hers.
Now, what about agency? Alicent and Rhaenyra lack agency and they can't be the bad bitches like Cersei before them. I'm just gonna say it: I am glad they aren't like Cersei.
This is a story that, at its core, is about patriarchy and misogyny. Anyone who says that is not present in the book is honestly delusional or stupid. Is it the only theme of this story? No! But is it a major theme? Yes! It can still be about this and something else too! But anyways, the complaining about "lack of agency" is so weird considering this. Did we not watch the same episode 9? I feel like I took crazy pills with everyone talking about the "inconsistency" of Alicent's character.
Genuinely, this is such a pervasive idea in the fandom and it drives me insane trying to figure out how they missed the fucking point of episode 9! Or to explain more calmly, that was an episode of Alicent trying to regain agency. When she is upset by the Green Council, it is not because she doesn't want to crown Aegon. The opposite actually. She is upset they plotted behind her back without her input, and so the race to find Aegon is the race to find who will ultimately influence the king. Alicent finds him first and Otto accepts defeat.
And yet in the end her actual influence is in question. Because Alicent is trying to work within the confines of a patriarchal system, which further restricts her actual agency. This is a Shakespearean tragedy, and Alicent's own decisions ultimately spell her doom (based on what we have been told of season 2, which I will get to later).
Here is the thing: in exploring a show about misogyny, you do not need the characters to be triumphant. The story of the Dance is not a story of triumph. It is a story of trauma, bad decision making, bloodlust, and loss. To think this is gonna be a story about how Alicent and Rhaenyra stick a middle finger to the patriarchy is a fundamental misunderstanding. Instead, this is a show about how patriarchy is not a stable or rational system of power structure. Having Alicent and Rhaenyra have to claw their way to have agency is the fucking point.
Also I might add that in the book neither character actually displays much agency. Rhaenyra sits around and cries while her son makes the big decisions, and Alicent just disappears from the story after Aegon is crowned. What "agency" is there to be had? I have a sneaking suspicion that chuds don't like Alicent or Rhaenyra not being misogynistic caricatures...
People say that women should be rich, complex characters all on their own and then want them being literal caricatures of what misogynists view women in power as. That is not complexity. Saying "mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth" is not complexity. That's just Alicent being an asshole. Rhaenyra's entire character going "this is my birthright and I will have my brother's head!" is not complexity. "Rhaenyra not leading is the point" is not complexity.
As much as I really don't like Fire & Blood, even I am aware that the book is bias due to the perspective of the maesters that wrote it in-universe (and yes the book is the book and the show is the show but I'm making a point). Women are often smeared in the histories, and even today men pay much closer attention to any real or perceived faults women have and hone in on that with intense scrutiny men don't usually have to worry about (especially women who go outside gender norms).
This bizarre call to make Alicent and Rhaenyra more unlikable because "muh complexity" is nonsensical because it's asking to fall into the same stereotypes about women the book does (uncaring power-seeking bitches who are incapable of friendship and have uncontrollable emotions).
On that note, Rhaenyra and Alicent's old friendship is the best change made book to show. There is an extra layer of tragedy to it all and makes the characters a lot more complex. But wait, isn't the war between Aegon and Rhaenyra? Why is this Hightower whore stealing the spotlight on my war crime king?
No no no. This is another misunderstanding. The war is between Rhaenyra and Aegon, yes. That is how everyone remembers it. Aegon is a character I actually quite adore for just how messy and utterly vile he is. I can't wait to see him in action. But there is no relationship between Aegon and Rhaenyra. Not in the show, and definitely not in the book either. The main rivalry has always been Rhaenyra and Alicent.
This is in Fire & Blood. Who created the Blacks and who created the Greens? Rhaenyra and Alicent. Who has an established relationship and history (as badly written as it is)? Rhaenyra and Alicent? What was the novella in which the Dance is first described called? The Princess and the Queen. The war may be between Queen Rhaenyra and King Aegon II, but the rivalry has always been focused on Rhaenyra and Alicent. This insistence to remove Alicent off the promotional posters and place Aegon is... kind of misogynistic? Like, Alicent is narratively more important to the story and people want to replace her with her son who, while important, is not as important?
And also, you can like Aegon and want to see him have a larger role. I know I do, even if he is a fucking bastard. You can dislike the show or what I said for any number of reasons. Some people who aren't raging misogynists have perfectly valid reasons to dislike it. I'm just explaining about the most vile part of the fandom that grinds my gears so badly it hurts.
Also, I'm not even going to go into the whole Team Black/Team Green thing. All I'll say about it is: I hope they all look sexy while doing war crimes <3
#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd discourse#misogyny is a integral part of the story and we need to just accept it#aegon does not deserve to be as pretty as he is#i hope rhaenyra and alicent have hot lesbian sex just to piss off the haters
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There is this thin line between, on one hand, denouncing systemic oppression of women and on the other hand, reducing women to their gender identity while blatantly ignoring everything else that makes them who they are as people, beyond their gender. I don't believe there are many people who are actually aware of that line, both in real life and in fiction. In fiction, things are far less complicated for a simple reason : the main difference between fiction and reality is the fact that fiction is entirely made up by a person to serve a message. Fiction is never an end in itself, it is a vehicle. It serves a purpose. In one work of fiction, x female character serves x purpose. In another work of fiction, z female character serves z purpose. You need to be able to identify the different arcs, contexts, and characterization that can be resumed in the question "what does the writer of this story want to say with that character?". When you ignore all that and identify two fictional characters solely on the grounds of their shared gender identity and gendered victimization, you're not only discarding the vision of the author. You're doing something much worse. You think you are denouncing this oppression, but what you are really doing is shedding every single aspect of their quality of a person until all that's left is precisely, their gender. The intentions may be good, but the results are jarring.
What happened to "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people"?
#this post is about the sansa stan to alicent stan pipeline even thought actually the two characters have very few things in common#their classism and internalized misogyny is a common trait yes but their arc and purpose in the story is totally different#same for alicent and hurrem cause in this case their arc and purpose in the story are not only different#but diametrically opposed#aspa rambles#feminism#fiction#i have ideas today
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I came up with an alien species that has been on my mind for a while...
(more information below the cut if your interested)
I was talking on Discord with one of my friends about the alien species and she helped me build more on them... Because I originally created them to tell the story of the last two (or just of two of them because a few are spread across the cosmos...)
She even built a variant of her own to be the ones to destroy their sister planet...
This is Abdo (Blue and yellow) and Cato (Red and Purple)...
Abdo stands 6 blocks tall and Cato stands 4 blocks tall.
They have 4 arms and two legs. A somewhat small tail and two sets of ears. They have fur, but it is more predominantly on their head and tail tip.
Think of their species society it's like a fandom on the internet: most are peaceful but they are highly advanced with laws that would severely punished those who are negative (ie: banishment or execution depending on the severity) like trolls or o-phile etc... Gender was no problem and most where peaceful...
Abdo had found out that his home planet was going to be destroyed and begged for a few to follow him to safety, even to evacuate the planet... But the high council would not listen. He then took a scientist hostage and escaped the planet's destruction. Only after to find out that Cato was also a male...
Luckily Cato knew a way around this... They would have to merge themselves with a different species DNA to keep the species DNA from disappearing completely... And one of them would have to change gender.
After playing a best 2 out of 3 game session, Abdo won and Cato accepted his fate of changing gender.
As soon as they reach the closest planet (what ever you call the Minecraft planet), they find two deceased locals to infuse with...
Abdo fuses himself with a unknown male Pillager. Shrinking down to 3 blocks tall but still has his perky upbeat attitude from before.
Cato fused with an unknown female Villager. Now identifying as a female, Cato is still a nervous bundle of fur who overthinks everything.
(I have more images in my book but I didn't take a snapshot of them yet...)
This is an open species so if you want to create your own OC from the original species or the Villager/Illager fusion I would love to see it... Just please credit me when you use the base or the species...
Abdo and Cato are my OCs but you can use their base to make your own... I don't care if they have the same color pattern (like I can actually control whoever uses my base or draws the species in their own style 🤣 besides I don't feel like charging people to use it. It just don't sit right with me, that's why it's an open species and free to use~)
For now I'm calling them raptoids because I can't remember the species name me and my friend had come up with for them (I'm sure they wrote it down somewhere so I'll get the name from them later and update this post with it).
They can be any gender, have any sort of pattern on in their fur, you can give them the scars, you can make them fluffy, muscly, skinny, fat etc... That's all up to you~
They must have 4 arms, 2 legs, 2 pairs of ears, a somewhat small tail, and nose is closer to the eyes with a long snout. They have claws that do not retract in their base form. (Fused form develops retractable claws unless original species has claws out constantly)
Believe it or not the tails actually do serve a very personal purpose: when in close proximity with a loved one their tails wrapped together in a way as if you're holding hands. It's mostly meant for a spouse but it can be done in a platonic way between close family members... This is usually done in times of great stress, fear, or for comfort (or in the throes of passion between spouses)...
(The Villager/Illager bases purposely in this image do not have eyebrows or if you decide the species infuses with one or the other... But the species fusion is not limited to villager/illager mobs... You can infuse them with other mobs, I just only have this base form at the moment but you can create a fusion using these as slight schematics as to what features they would gain infused with the raptoid species)
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To be honest, I have not given much though to the ysblf sequel (?) for next year, I'm just letting it in their hands, waiting for the result, hoping that the people in charge of creating this are really experts and taking a good direction. But also, there is so much to think about and consider that I rather not think at all. For example, if Fernando Gaitán hoped to tell people that women who don't fit the beauty standard have the right to dream as well, and he accomplished it, what is the purpose for this sequel? I believe with ECOMODA they just wanted to show Betty and Armando's life as a married couple, with the few issues here and there, the jealousy, the raising a daughter, etc. And it kinda flunked because that is only interesting for a bit, and only to those people who watched the soap and loved it. So what do they want with this sequel? They could have many, big goals with it. They totally have a wide audience, older adults who watched the soap two decades ago, and all the (possibly younger) people who have watched it over the years until now; and they totally have the characters to target both audiences, they have some of the older characters and they have Betty and Armando's daughter, who's a gen z (is that right?). What will they deliver? An attack on the ever-growing and ever-preying-on-the-vulnerable twisted world of fashion and beauty? And inside look on it? Women's, both older and younger, relationship with it? Marriage struggles? Existential crisis? Coming of age? Will they take the risk and venture into the world of LGBTQ and genders and trans and whatnot? What is Betty's journey going to be? And her daughter's? And Armando's? Because they better not believe we are going to be happy with the classic and boring "mom and daughter dynamic is going through a rough time and dad's just there" cause BITCH this soap DELIVERED, this soap SERVED, and I ain't lowering the bar. Where is Betty now, and where do they want her to get? Same for Armando and their daughter. You cannot expect two characters that went through so much to just be prefabricated cutouts in the background while their daughter goes through the standard coming-of-age struggle. I am not saying Betty and Armando can't lead normal, tranquille lives now, I'm all in for their peace and their happiness, but I'm also all in for a journey! Specially if that means it will broaden the experience for us; the more the characters are put through a process, the richer the show, and the more likely it is for someone in the audience to connect with the soap. If it is going to focus on Betty juggling her career and her relationship with her daughter and her husband, then the audience who can relate to Betty will connect, but the rest will either watch just out of curiosity or loyalty. I have no fear of saying that plotline isn't very interesting to me. But what if the daughter has a story too? And Armando? And they all have to grow in order to make things work? Idk I'm just ranting.
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okay gyns, let's mcfuckin do this!
PARTy 2🥳🥳🥳
loooong post ahead, so i'll put a little read more thingy. as usual, I had fun doing this.
YUPPPP
I don't even know where to begin. I mean, I love that I finally have an opportunity to use the word flabbergasted. Because I don't think there even is another word to describe how I this made me feel. I'm kind of impressed, if I'm being totally honest, because I'm not sure I've ever seen quite THIS much misinformation jammed into one post in my entire life. It's amazing.
typically, in trans-exclusionary radical feminism, gender essentialism and bioessentialism go hand-in-hand, as to TERFs, sex and gender are synonymous
genuine question: do yall LITERALLY just invent shit about radical feminist beliefs? is it a hobby or weird ass kink or something?? as I made pretty damn clear at the end of Part 1, radfems are about as far from essentialism as one can get. this quote is so incredibly STUPID that i'm actually DELIGHTED by it. it's just beautiful how you actually managed to get as far from correct as humanly possible with this one. i am obsessed.
radfems don't BELIEVE in gender. at all. radfems acknowledge gender as a social construct, and we reject the construct entirely. we believe the construct serves no purpose but to limit and oppress. we DO "believe in" sex, because not believing in sex is quite literally akin to flat-earthers and people who think vaccines cause autism.
think of the radfem perspective like this: humans are just animals and have sexes like every other species. a doe is a female deer, and a buck is a male deer, yes? we all know what that means, we all know that's about biology. that's how we see "woman" and "man." the gender construct is not a factor, not relevant to those terms. those terms indicate sex & species. just as "doe" and "buck" are not assumed to imply anything about the personality/behavioral traits of any given deer, we don't believe "woman" or "man" says a single thing about who someone inherently is. we believe the differences between men and women (not physical differences, but the kind of differences I listed at the end of Part 1) are much more likely socialized than innate, and there is tons of research to back this up. this gendered socialization begins before you're even born! studies show that the very speech patterns adults use when taking to an unborn baby are different when they know its sex. The way the world interacts with you is different depending on whether you're male or female your entire life, and it's so deeply ingrained that it's largely unconscious, unintentional. this is what radfems mean when we say "male/female socialization." regardless of how you feel, how much you conform or don't, or how you identify, the whole world is going to treat you as the sex they perceive you to be. this is obviously most impactful during one's developmental years, meaning even if you transition and "pass" flawlessly by age 16, you've already received the most intensive and meaningful years of gendered socialization.
if you are reading this and thinking "bullshit, trans women aren't male socialized!" you are simply just straight up lying to yourself. I have known literally hundreds of trans people - IRL alone! - and that is precisely why I stopped being able to believe TWAW/TMAM. Because the patterns of female and male socialization were so incredibly undeniably apparent, in a large sample size, over multiple years. And it wasn't "trans women" displaying female socialization and "trans men" displaying male socialization. "Gamestop Ma'am" turned out not to be an anomaly like my trans peers tried so hard to convince everyone: he was, though to a more extreme degree, entirely the norm, a pretty accurate example of the average "trans woman" I have known over the years.
Women tend to hide our bodies even in our locker rooms, while Lia Thomas swung his dick around proudly for all to see, all over the women's locker room, according to his teammates. An anomaly, you tell me, a hundred times, a thousand times. Another anomaly, another anomaly, another exception, another bad egg, another, another, another. Exactly how many anomalies and exceptions can a "tiny, vulnerable minority" have before they're no longer exceptions and anomalies, but accurate representation? Truly, I'm asking, I'd love to know the answer.
now that we've got that out of the way, finally on to your first bullet point: the claim that men who aren't straight, white, "cis," able-bodied, neurotypical, financially secure, and gender-conforming are also oppressed by patriarchy and do not benefit from it, and that this is what intersectionality is about. your last sentence of this bullet point actually describes intersectionality correctly, yet you manage to completely misinterpret it outside of that...
you are a giiiiiant fucking idiot lmfao. ALL men (meaning humans of the male sex class) benefit from patriarchy. men can face oppression on other axes, fuckin obviously. but that doesn't magically cancel out their male privilege. no man will ever need to worry about forced pregnancy and birth, access to menstrual products, femicide, and every single other form of sex-based oppression. this is precisely why acknowledging the reality of sex and having words with clear definitions that enable us to discuss it is VITAL! just because a man faces racism, ableism, classism, or homophobia does not cancel out the ways he benefits from patriarchy. men are exempt from misogyny by definition.
the really interesting thing is that you lot all seem to understand this concept perfectly well with every other axis of oppression. you don't claim that wealthy people don't benefit from classism if they're autistic. you don't claim that white people are exempt from white privilege if they're homosexual. you KNOW that's not how intersectionality works! you KNOW! because you only say this shit about patriarchy, feminism, misogyny, male privilege. You. Know. you are lying, maybe even to yourself, but you are lying.
intersectionality says that facing multiple axes of oppression forms its own unique effects that are more specific and complex than simply the sum of those axes of oppression. this is why we have the term "misogynoir," because - to put it on chemistry terms - misogyny and racism mixed together create a new substance entirely, like hydrogen and oxygen forming water. you don't look at water and see hydrogen and oxygen, you just see water, even though you know it's technically H2O. But when you see an Oreo, you see cookie and cream. You know it's an Oreo, of course, and you know it's not the same as a cookie by itself or the filling by itself, but you still see 2 distinct parts that don't create something entirely new. THAT is what intersectionality is about, not some delusion that facing oppression on one axis cancels out your privilege on another axis. that's just totally nonsensical if you think about it critically for a single second.
gender essentialism fails to realize the nuances and complexity of human gender and personality
And there we motherfuckin go. Thank you for saying the quiet part out loud, finally: "Gender essentialism fails to realize the nuances and complexity of human gender and personality." Personality. This is what all "gender identity" is. It's (part of) your personality.
This is where radfems who are gnc and/or dysphoric differ from trans-identifying people: we don't think we need to have a "gender identity" label for our personality traits, even if our personality is as gender-nonconforming as can be. I'm a woman because I'm human & female, just like a doe is a doe because she's a deer & female, but pretty much my whole entire personality is what our gendered patriarchal society considers masculine. I am outspoken, confrontational, self-confident, risk-seeking, and wildly stubborn. I like guns and fast cars, action movies and rugged outdoor survivalism, rock climbing and fight clubs, snakes and spiders. I wear cargo pants and "men's" tactical boots (with a knife pocket in the side), I am the only woman who goes to the barber shop where I get my fade cleaned up, my legs and groin and armpits haven't seen a razor in years, I don't own one single makeup item but way too many jars of pomade, I exclusively wear boxer briefs. I had a double mastectomy partially due to painful cysts and partially due to physical dysphoria, and 4 years later I'm still very much enjoying my flat chest (despite some radfems wanting me to pretend I don't).
But I am not a man or a "demi-boy" or genderfluid or anything else besides a woman. This is not because something deep down inside me "feels" like a woman. That concept makes absolutely zero sense. We keep asking you what it means to "feel like a woman/man" and not one of you has given us a remotely comprehensible answer. I only "feel like" a person, like ME. Like I said before, I am a woman and not a man in the same way a doe is a doe and not a buck. The same way I am a brunette and not a blonde. The same way I am a human and not a cat, a lefty and not a righty. And to me, all of these things are equally neutral biological facts, and all of them are pretty superficial and mean absolutely nothing about who I am or what I'm like as an individual.
Do you get it yet? I've said all this before and still sometimes had people respond as though I just said "women are baby making machines who love wearing frilly dresses and picking flowers and cooking for the Man of the House." How far gone do you have to be that this borderline novel isn't enough to get my point across? It's a bit terrifying.
and honestly, you really tell on yourself at the end when you say masculinity isn't inherently bad/femininity isn't inherently good, given that this is clearly referencing your statement toward the beginning about "the view that men are inherently 'corrupt' or 'evil,' and that women are inherently" pure/innocent/good. you're defining women by femininity and men by masculinity. THAT'S essentialism, baby!
as you can see, reblogs and replies are now turned off for this mind-numbingly braindead post, but I couldn't resist sharing some of the batshit content in the notes.
typing in color so it's easier to tell my commentary apart from the screenshots
radfems are insane because... we think "all women matter" doesn't include males. incredible insight. I also love "leave my sisters alone. and leave me and my brothers alone, fuckers," as if that's the direction the harassment is typically occuring in. as if radfems are hunting trans people for sport simply by not believing in or supporting the gender construct. yes. we are clearly the insane party here.
more evidence we're the insane ones, as this person claims men aren't an oppressor class and that somehow believing that they are will lead to... believing butch lesbians are an oppressor 💀 this is your brain on gender - completely unable to even consider sex, only "masc presentation," which is how they come to the batshit conclusion that acknowledging men are an oppressor class will ultimately come to include butch lesbians.
... girl. what.
however........ there's one reblog that really stands above all others. It is so long and so unhinged that it surpasses tumblr's image cap, so I'm going to have to do a part 2 of this post. but here's a sneak peek:
Gender worshippers learn what gender essentialism & bioessentialism actually mean challenge: impossible
Seriously. Y'all loooove redefining shit so much, but these terms were created for specific reasons and you can't just rewrite any word or term you want to suit your beliefs. Gender essentialism refers to the commonly held belief that gendered traits are biologically determined by sex rather than learned. The idea that women are "naturally" or "biologically" homemakers, more nurturing, less confrontational, and more emotional, that little girls "naturally" or "biologically" prefer dolls over toy trucks, that women "naturally" or "biologically" feel driven to have babies and there's no such thing as a happy childfree woman, that sex is inherently more emotional and meaningful for women, that men are more logical, better at STEM subjects, better drivers, that it's "natural" for men to cheat but not for women to, that men are "naturally" or "biologically" more aggressive, that paintball and Call of Duty are naturally "for boys," and a thousand other ridiculous things way too many people believe.
But oh shit, what's that? The people who really started fighting back against gender essentialism and arguing that gender is a social construct were... second wave feminists???!!! the very movement radical feminism is born from and shares most of its tenets with???!!! it's... it's almost like... radfems are the literal opposite of essentialists 😱
Meanwhile, today's trans community will tell gender-nonconforming people they're "eggs" and "totally going to come out as trans any day now" while simultaneously claiming not to define gender by stereotypes 🤡 like, OK...
#mine#peak trans#trans activism#gender identity#gender ideology#radblr#radical feminism#misinformation#gender essentialism#bioessentialism#tra receipts
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My Stance on Different Issues
If you want an idea of where I stand on different issues, give this post a read. I'm pinning it and will try to remember to edit it as I feel it's needed.
If you have any questions though, feel free to ask!
LGBT Issues
I'm transsexual and bisexual. Naturally I support gay rights and trans healthcare, but that doesn't mean I agree with every idea that comes out of LGBT spaces.
Transsexual vs Transgender
I prefer the term transsexual, because transgender has become a massive umbrella that really doesn't mean much. It can refer to someone like me who transitions from male to female or vice versa, but it can also refer to someone who doesn't do anything except change their pronouns. Worse still, I find "transgender" is often associated with certain ideological beliefs I disagree with... so I simply feel misrepresented when someone uses the word to describe me.
I also find the word transsexual a bit empowering, because my dysphoria is caused by my sex, I'm transitioning my sex, and the word itself seems to acknowledge this. I get that the word has a history, but I'm interested in reclaiming it.
Bisexual vs Pansexual
If someone only identifies as pansexual because they're attracted to trans people, I'd say that's transphobic. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, but bisexuality does include trans people and I'd say you've been led astray if you believe otherwise.
Apart from that, I try not to judge too much. Overall I don't see how it's different enough from being bisexual to deserve its own word, but you do you.
Misgendering & Neopronouns
Misgendering is bad because it teaches other people that someone is the wrong gender. It's especially frustrating for transsexual people to deal with, because we already struggle to be seen as the correct gender, which aggravates our dysphoria, and trying to teach people who we are can feel like an uphill battle when some dunderhead insists on misgendering us.
With that said, it should come as no surprise that I don't consider it misgendering to not use someone's neopronouns. If someone is going for androgyny, there's nothing objectively wrong with using they/them over their preferred xi/xir. Pronouns are meant to serve a practical purpose, while nicknames are meant to be fun.
Nonbinary Identities
If someone only considers themselves nonbinary because they don't relate to masculine or feminine gender norms, then I view the idea as regressive. Gender norms have nothing to do with being a man or a woman, so I don't believe people can just opt out by calling themselves nonbinary.
When it comes to nonbinary people who do transition, I try to keep an open mind. I do think opting out may be possible if you can pull off androgyny well enough.
Detransitioners
I support detransitioners so long as they aren't being transphobic. I think there's too much stigma around detransition and we should support people going through that process, because regardless of their reasoning, that process is more similar to transition than anything a cis person will ever go through.
Feminism
I'm a proud feminist and would say I'm personally affected by women's issues for the most part. While there are things I'm not affected by, it's probably safe to assume I support the common sense stuff like abortion rights.
Radical Feminism and TERFs
My relationship with radical feminism is a bit complicated since it's largely been taken over by TERFs. I do often agree with radfems when they shut up about trans people, but I'm just not interested in engaging with those communities while they're overrun by terminally online fauxminists who seem to hate trans women more than they care about cis women.
So while I could potentially be considered a radical feminist, I'm going to choose not to engage with radical feminism on tumblr.
Gender Abolition
I'm not interested in abolishing the categories of "man" and "woman," because I find them necessary in describing the unique challenges faced by people due to their sex. However, I do find gender roles oppressive and would like society to reach a point where people can do anything they want without having their behaviors judged as "masculine" or "feminine."
Sex Work
I think the ideal would be to reach a point where women don't feel the need to commodify their bodies. So while I'd say I'm supportive of sex workers, I'm against legalizing sex work.
Mental Health
I'm diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and an anxiety disorder. I also struggled a lot with dysphoria-induced depression as a teen and have seen mental health issues hurt people I care about, so I'd say this is something I take fairly seriously and care about.
Self-Diagnosis
I'm against self-diagnosis, because plenty of conditions can mimic the symptoms of another and even mental health professionals can't diagnose themselves due to bias. When it comes to treating a problem, it's important to find the right treatment... so I feel like people who diagnose themselves are doing themselves a disservice.
I think it's fine for someone to suspect having something and to make use of coping strategies they find helpful, but I don't think it's healthy to tell themselves they have a disorder without a diagnosis.
#discourse#faq#opinion#opinions#lgbt discourse#transsexual#transsex#transgender#feminism#trans discourse#bisexual#bi discourse
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